Wrapped up for Christmas

Merry Christmas! I'm now back with my parents for Christmas (unless you're a burglar, in which case er I'm actually still at home) and after a busy couple of weeks juggling the buying of presents and writing of cards, I'm finally relaxing into the Christmas spirit. I always enjoy Christmas Eve and the wonderful sense of wellbeing that flows from knowing that there is nothing left to do except eat grapes and cake, and sit back for a day just reading about "The Man Who Swam The Amazon".

Recently though I've been thinking about the many contradictions of the season (with its peculiar mixture of happiness, anticipation and anxiety) and reflecting on how things have changed since I was a child. In those days, when my sister and I were very young, we would wake up desperately early on Christmas morning to find our pillowcases stuffed with presents from Santa - Christmas being one of the two occasions in the year (aside from our birthdays) when we could ask for the big ticket items - like a bicycle, or an electronic keyboard - that were out of reach during the rest of the year. In a sense even though it was focused on material things I suppose it really did still seem rather magical.

These days - being older and of independent means - the magic of Christmas is more about spending time with the family, and less about getting cool stuff (which to be honest I'm able to buy for myself any time in the year). Christmas Day has a different and more enjoyable rhythm, which thankfully no longer includes tearing off wrapping paper at 5:30am: it's about simpler pleasures, like bacon butties for breakfast, everyone chatting and joking together over Christmas dinner, and a trip out in the cold to watch the annual Boxing Day Matlock Raft Race - or a walk along the Seagirt boardwalk with Kyle. (I was very fortunate to spend last Christmas with Kyle in New Jersey with her folks, and I'm sad not to be with her and be able to spend time with them all again this year.)

I do still like to give gifts and send Christmas cards though, and I think this compulsion is what causes me the most (self-inflicted) festive stress - I worry about finding gifts that people will really like or want, and in the past I've found the business of actually wrapping the stuff to be disproportionately taxing. I think I can feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of small decisions (like, "will Dad like this book?" or "what's the best way to wrap this hexagonal box?"). But I'm also starting to learn that things get much easier once I stop worrying and (as Kyle suggested to me) try to just enjoy it.

Which brings me back to the feeling that I enjoy the most, which is when everything is finally done: cards written and presents wrapped. It's then that I feel I can actually take the time to enjoy the simple things - like how the ice on the pavement twinkles like glitter in the weak winter sun (something I'm sure that Kyle would appreciate!), the satisfying crunchiness of the snow underfoot, or simply being able to sit and read a book all day.

Hopefully you're also enjoying your Christmas Eve wherever you are. So before I get back to my book, once again: Merry Christmas to you!